Dealing with jet-lag in Sao Paulo

Posted on June 24, 2019 by Martin Koskins

I’ve been in Sao Paulo for one week.

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Today is my last day before I fly to Rio. I’m still suffering jet-lag… But, I thought I’d better get in a quick blog post before I leave. I’ve been struck down with the most diabolical jet lag for the entire week. The timing of South American flights from Sydney couldn’t possibly be any worse. You leave at midday. Then you travel for about 18 hours and arrive at 4.30 pm on the same day, having slept and completely reversed the day and night.

The flight over from Sydney to Sao Paulo was fine. I flew Air New Zealand to Buenos Aires and then Qatar Airways to Sao Paulo. Sydney to Auckland was great. The flight attendants were super happy and friendly. I’m sure it’s because they’re all thinking “We’ve only got two and a half hours of this shit and then we’re out of here, at home, jet lag free!” … On the Buenos Aires leg however, you could see that the flight attendants were struggling to maintain a smile. Stepping onto Qatar Airways at Buenos Aires was a very noticeable step up in standards from Air New Zealand. The aeroplane is polished and in mint condition and the flight attendants look like they’ve all just come back from their modelling jobs. Quite a pleasant relief after the fuglies of Air NZ. There is also a noticeable attention to detail. Qatar Airways is the only airline that I’ve experienced that actually serve the special meals at the same time as the regular meals. Every other airline serves the special meal about three hours before everyone else. I mean, how difficult is it?

After arriving in Buenos Aires, the week got off to a bit of a bumpy start. I blame it all on my cost cutting measures. After all, you get what you pay for. I first thought I would save time and more importantly money, by not going into BA “Federal Capital” for my stopover, but instead staying close to Ezeiza airport, in a town called El Jaguel. El Jaguel is closer than Buenos Aires, but still, it isn’t THAT close. By the time you exit the airport and go through slip roads, loop roads, spaghetti junctions, motorways and side streets, it took about half an hour. Another 20 minutes in a taxi, and I would have been in the Federal Capital. I also could have found an equally cheap room and I would have been in civilisation. But hey, you live and learn all the time. At least I thought I could spend the day, strolling in the fresh air and quiet provincial streets. I didn’t factor in of course that I was directly under the flight path. El Jaguel is to Ezeiza what Marrickville is to Mascot. And at times like this, Murphy’s law invariably kicks in. From the moment I stepped off the plane until 27 hours later when I stepped back on, it rained literally non-stop and extremely heavily. In El Jaguel, there is literally nothing… Not a thing… You have to walk to the next ‘burb called Monte Grande to find anything. Did I have an umbrella? No. Could I call an Uber? No. All I could find in the house to eat for 27 hours was 2 dulce de leche biscuits and a carton of expired sugary processed milk. Yep, fun times.

The choice of flight to Sao Paulo was also driven price. It was the cheapest. The flight actually goes from Buenos Aires to Doha, via Sao Paulo. I guess that most people travel from Sao Paulo so they sell the BA to SP leg very cheaply. Sao Paulo being a stopover also meant that we arrived in the middle of the night. Arriving in any foreign airport, unless it’s a major transit hub, is pretty creepy. Guarulhos is no exception. I think my flight was the only one that came in at that time. Everything was closed including the casa de cambio. The airport was pretty empty. Two ATMs that I tried had no money. Luckily the third ATM I tried had cash. I inserted my card and pressed on the button that said I wanted to withdraw 2200 reals. You know, just before it’s about to dispense the money, the ATM tells you the transaction fee and then asks if you want to continue? It tells me that the transaction fee is going to be 240 reals!!!!! I quickly clicked onto my XE currency converter app and it tells me that 240 reals converts to AUD 90!!!!! WTF!!! Desperation of course forced me to click the “yes” button. I had no choice but I felt like they should change the “yes” button to “who cares” and the “no” button to “fuck you, I’m desperate”.

The next challenge was getting from Guarulhos to Vila Buarque, where I’ve been staying. There didn’t appear to be a whole lot of taxis floating around and I hadn’t been able to reactivate my Uber account. In order to reactivate it, they need to send a security code, and they send it to my Australian number which I was unable to access. As luck would have it though, some kind of renegade Uber driver approached me mumbling quietly “Uber, Uber” and offered to take me for the same price as a real Uber. I broke the number one rule of travelling in security challenged countries: Never get into an unregistered taxi. It was 3 am… What was I to do? Fortunately though, he was a decent guy and didn’t kidnap me. We get to Vila Buarque safely. The one bonus of arriving in the middle of the night is that there is no traffic. We got to my place in 20 minutes.

I had another minor Airbnb fail here in Sao Paulo. Again, I rented the cheapest room. The apartment itself is fine and the location is OK, but the room itself is a stuffy, windowless inside room with the most uncomfortable bed imaginable. That would be fine, because the owner is quite friendly, sociable and chatty and I felt comfortable coming about of my cell. That would have been fine, but the very next day he went on holiday and rented his room out someone else. I wasn’t introduced to this person and I’ve been getting very strange vibes all week. Not that I need to socialise with him or anything, but I’ve never been in a share living situation where people completely pretend like the other person is invisible. I did the usual, “Oi, tudo bem?” one night and he just grunted “boa noite” and got up, marched into his room and closed the door. Brazilian people in my experience are usually very open and friendly. Trust my luck that out of a population of 200 odd million, I’m living with the one freak in the country.

Brazilian people are extremely warm and friendly. I’m really surprised how friendly, kind and laid back people are here in Sao Paulo considering what a mother of a city it is. People have been extremely nice to me and have gone out of their way to help.

People aside though, Sao Paulo really is a mother of a city. Even though I’ve been here before, for the first few days I felt very overwhelmed. Slowly I’ve been getting my bearings though and relaxing into it. Sao Paulo is like Tokyo in so much as every inch of space is filled up. There are no empty lots or spaces between buildings. The streets run very organically, not in any kind of grid pattern and with the exception of the downtown area which has a few more identifiable buildings and landmarks, everywhere looks essentially the same. All the buildings are in varying shades of beige or creamy yellow. The shops, houses, walls and fences all line up to the same point on the side walk. So as you walk along the sidewalk, you are just walking through this endless wall of creamy yellowy beige. Thank God I got a local SIM card and have been able to use Google maps to guide me as I walk. Otherwise I’d be house bound in my cell.

As I mentioned in the beginning, I’ve been suffering the most diabolical jetlag with no signs that it’s going to improve. I eventually reached the point of “If you can’t beat it, just go with it”. So, I’ve been sleeping all through the day, waking up in the evening and going to bars and clubs at night. That’s something I haven’t done since my twenties.. I guess I had very high expectations of Sao Paulo nightlife. And while the bars and clubs are certainly very good, they’re pretty standard, like what you would find anywhere else in the world (with the exception of Sydney of course). The only thing that separates Sao Paulo nightclubs from others that I’ve been to, is the aggressiveness of the security check. The “pat down” is quite something else. Entering a club, I got the full “Banged Up Abroad” experience. The guy who did me, shouted at me and patted me down so hard that I was virtually bruised by the end of it. He patted down literally EVERY part of my body, punched my shoes several times, made me take them off and then inspected them closely. I was not required however to empty out my bulging pockets and neither was anyone else. Interesting.

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Bye for now. it’s time to pack.

Time to say goodbye, Taipei… I’ll miss you!

Posted on January 4, 2019 by Martin Koskins

It’s 10 pm. I should be sleeping because I have to catch a taxi for the airport at 4 am. In a moment of complete insanity, I booked a flight departing at 7.40 am. And now, I am severely regretting the stupidity of this decision as 4 am looms. The other flight to Sydney was at 11.55 pm but it would have meant booking the hotel for another night and only using it for half a day, so I decided to save the money.

Anyway, it’s my last day in Taipei and feeling a tad sad that I have to leave. I wasn’t sold on Taipei at first. It seemed like just a mini dirty Tokyo, but over the days I discovered many more layers to the city and really came to like it. It’s a bit Japanese and a bit Chinese but still has very much it’s own unique special flavour. The people are without a doubt some of the nicest I’ve ever encountered on my travels. And there’s a real unpretentious, easy-breezy vibe to the place. It is what it is and the people aren’t wannabes like those other people up the Han Peninsula.

On my second last night, I decided to ignore all the nay sayers on Trip Advisor and went to visit Raohe night market. Night markets are a huge part of Taiwanese life. They have unbelievable selection of foods. I wish I ate meat… I could have gone to town on offal: pig’s fallopian tubes, tripe and chicken feet!

I had my Lucy Jordan moment… Not quite Paris in a sports car and not quite 37 either… But I got a ride to the night market through the streets of Taipei on the back of a scooter..

And today, on my last day… It finally stopped raining!! The temperature maxed out at 29 degrees so I hot footed it down to Taipei 101 to check out the city view. It’s funny… The Taiwanese appear to be really theoretical with their dress. It was 29 degrees but because it’s still winter, they were all out in their hooded down puffer jackets. Meanwhile, I was in shorts and a T-shirt.

Taipei 101 is a very nice building and definitely looks much better in real life than in pictures. It was at one time the tallest building in the world but already in 2019, it has dropped to 10^th place. And next year when Jeddah Tower opens, it will drop another place.

Some random stupid Mainlander staging a one man protest against the Fallun Gong protest that was going on outside the building…

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The lift whisks you up to the observation deck on level 89 in a matter of seconds. Level 89 is a windowed observation deck. But then you go up 2 flights of stairs and you have the open observation deck. When I got to level 89 and looked out the window, my first reaction was, “Why the f*** did they use smoked glass for the windows?” … But then a short while later, I went up to the non-windowed observation deck and noticed that the view looked exactly the same. Of course the glass wasn’t smoky. It was crystal clear. It was just the blanket of smog hovering over the city.

Level 89…

Level 91…

Time for bed now… 4 am is certainly not going to be pretty. And to add insult to injury, there is track work on my line when I get back to Sydney!!

And so my lovelies… That’s it ‘till the next trip! I wish you all a wonderful 2019 filled with amazing adventures!

Flying to Taipei and first impressions

Posted on December 25, 2018 by Martin Koskins

I really wanted to get away for the Christmas and New Year break. Work had been getting me down and so I felt like I needed a bit of pick-me-up treat. Not being a huge fan of beaches, I opted for a two week Asian urban adventure. Taipei seemed like a good idea… It’s not too far away and I like travelling in ugly cities. People are generally nicer in ugly cities, with the exception of Seoul of course. It’s like they feel that they have to try harder to compensate. But now, sitting in my room on the third day of rain, I’m thinking maybe I could have gritted my teeth and put up with a bit of sand and sun.

I booked a ticket to Taipei on China Airlines. The main reason for this decision was that it’s the only airline offering non-stop flights between Sydney and Taipei… And of course, the price was very competitive! If you Google “Airlines + most fatalities + last 30 years” China Airlines comes in at the number 1 spot, beating out Korean Airlines at number 2 by about 200 people. Mind you, for “most fatalities of all time”, Aeroflot is the hands down winner there! China Airlines was founded by an ex-air force pilot and throughout the 90s, they mainly recruited ex-ROC Air Force pilots. It took them about 8 crashes and 700 odd fatalities, to work out that this practice wasn’t working for them. For about the last 15 years though, they’ve been cleaning up their act. They recruit university graduates and put them through a pilot training program and have also overhauled their maintenance programme.

Anyway, today’s China Airlines is not too shabby… Now, on the Sydney – Taipei route, they fly brand new Airbus A350s. The A350 is like the Dreamliner… It has higher ceilings, bigger windows, variable mood lighting and a higher cabin pressure so you don’t feel so disgusting when you arrive. The economy baggage allowance is 30 kg, which is perfect for “just-in-case” travelers like me. I packed 25 kgs for two weeks, including jeans that I never wear. That’s the heaviest outbound luggage I’ve ever had and for the shortest trip. For the interior, they’re going for a kind of zen bamboo forest thing and have done the walls in a sort of wood grain finish and an angular pattern on the carpet. I’m not a big fan of Chinese aesthetic. For me personally, I don’t get “bamboo forest”. I just all feels a bit chintzy. Anyway, at the end of the day, economy is economy and we were all crammed in like cattle on a live export to Asia.

I’ve been here for four days now, and my impression of Taipei is that it’s a pretty nice place. Visually, it’s no show-stopper… It certainly ticks the ugly box, that’s for sure… Kind of a dirty mini-Tokyo… But… It proves my theory of “ugly city, nice people”. People here seem very polite, kind and friendly and the language barrier doesn’t seem to cause too much awkwardness. Overall, the city has a relaxed, unpretentious vibe to it. It was part of the Empire of Japan for 50 years so culturally it feels like a Chinese/Japanese hybrid. The Japanese influence can be felt most noticeably in their manners, and of course the Japanese style hot springs and Japanese food chains. Announcements on trains are made in Mandarin, English and Japanese.

Perhaps in part due to the Japanese influence, I’ve been having flashbacks and have been reliving my time in Japan… Going into supermarkets and restaurants and not being able to read the labels and not knowing what’s in the food, and having to rely on people to always translate everything. And then there’s the whole “gaijin” scene (whatever the Taiwanese equivalent of “gaijin” is) … Going into bars and witnessing the “zero to hero” phenomenon or the foreigners who are trapped in a bubble one way or another… And then there’s the whole who’s into rice versus potatoes versus sticky rice. While I still do use the terminology myself, it’s always with tongue planted firmly in cheek. I’m so glad I can just observe it now and walk away.

On the other hand, one positive flashback is the relaxed attitude towards alcohol and drinking in Asian countries… Being able to buy alcohol in the convenience store and just walk down the street drinking… Here, not only do you have the choice of the usual stuff, but you can buy shots! It’s one of those bucket list items to walk down a city street doing shots you bought in a convenience store. I started with Pussycat, moved on to Buttery Nipple and ended on Porn Star!

The food here is INCREDIBLE!!! Perhaps in part due to there being a lot of elderly Buddhists living here, there are quite a number of amazing vegetarian restaurants. So far, I’ve checked out “Three to Vegetarian”, “Minder Vegetarian” and “Rice Revolution”. I thought the name Rice Revolution was pretty cool. It sounds like an Asian protest rally… But the other two names? Not sure what the idea there was. The first two restaurants are buffet restaurants. They each have about thirty or forty dishes. You help yourself and then they weigh it at check-out. Although Rice Revolution sounded cool, it was quite small and they had a very limited menu. However, outside of designated vegetarian restaurants, it’s pretty much a porkfest everywhere else.

Other than eating and walking down streets drinking, I’ve done the usual kind of tourist stuff and checked out the main sights. I even did a Bikram Yoga class. If you’ve ever wondered how you Bikram Yoga could be more challenging and unpleasant… Try doing it in Chinese! That takes it to a whole new level!